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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Even Venus Has a Bad Hair Day: The Venus Retrograde

Get ready because the planet of love and money, Venus , is about to turn retrograde on October 8, 2010 and will not go direct until November 18, 2010. Miss Venus turns retrograde about once every 18-20 months and spans roughly a six week period. Since this particular retrograde gets its start with Venus in the sign of Scorpio, watch out for jealous moments and passionate outbursts especially in the relationship department.

So what the hell does all of this astrology lingo mean to the mortals who must weather the storm of a Venus retrograde? Let me clue you in. First of all this is not the best time to beautify, redecorate, make investments, get married , start a relationship, buy luxury items or lend out money. During this retrograde period our natural creativity and sense of taste may be compromised and any decisions we make during this backward phase of Venus will most likely disappoint us once the planet turns direct.

This back flip of Venus also has a way of bringing back old lovers who may want to try again and also gives us an opportunity to reconnect with some old friends. Venus retrograde more so than a Mercury retrograde will have a tendency to bring the more personal, meaningful relationships that you have had back into focus. Even the former lover who's house that you egged and toilet papered because of a disappointing situation may suddenly reflect on some fond memories and decide to give you a call. Make sure that you really want them back when making a decision on a retrograde Venus because once the planet of love goes direct you may be back to buying a couple dozen cartons of eggs and a case of toilet paper to once again settle the score of a scorned lover.

Beautifying and redecorating are best left for another time since Venus rules taste in the aesthetic sense of the word. Stick with the old and don't try out a new hair style or change your home's color scheme during this retrograde period or you'll be sorry. I knew of a woman who had Botox and a mini face lift during a Venus retrograde phase and the results were not pretty. She wound up looking like a wax figure that had a plunger for a mouth. Trust me-don't go under the knife for beauty during this time or you might decide to turn the knife on your plastic surgeon when you look in the mirror.

Shy away from new financial investments and don't sign contracts that have to do with finances during a retrograde Venus. You will get screwed (with your pants still on) because once Venus goes direct you will see how the financial arrangement wasn't in your best interest. No luxury items should be bought during this phase so stick only to practical purchases. Cobbie Cuddlers vs. Manolo Blahniks.

So is there anything that you can do during a Venus retrograde that won't leave you broke, ugly, alone and sitting in a house that was redecorated in the dark? Here are some of the things that you can do to benefit you during this time:
  • Renegotiate a loan and try to get a better interest rate as opposed to applying for new credit.
  • Settle up any long standing debts that are owed to you and call your chips in-you know, "Make them an offer that they can't refuse" so the debtor will pay up.
  • Reevaluate your current relationships and make sure that there is a real value to them. It is a good time to purge yourself from energy vampires and time wasting connections.
  • Should an old love resurface make sure that you stay in the "here and now" and see if the relationship can move forward so you don't get stuck making the same past mistakes.
  • Go through your clothes and donate items that you will never wear again along with household items and accessories that you really have no use for that are still cluttering your living space. Toss all chatskies .
With all of the above information about Venus retrograde periods you should make it through the six week period just fine. If you get stuck then consult an astrologer or other metaphysician to see what cosmic remedy will soothe you soul during this "bad hair period of Venus". Get an astrological update for your chart and see exactly where the Venus retrograde will affect you. Tarot card readings are also helpful in helping you delve into relationship matters by giving you some psychic impute to work with so you can see both sides of the coin when making Venus related decisions.

You have to chill out and reevaluate situations before flying off the handle because Venus will start going in reverse in the sign of Scorpio and as I mentioned earlier there is the possibility of jealousy and passionate revenge to contend with. How much are a dozen eggs?

I love this quote by John Barrymore: "When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves."

Consider the gloves found during the Venus retrograde cycle.

Namaste'

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