My work as
an astrologer usually brings me an array of questions ranging from the usual to
the bazaar. I guess that I would have to
admit that the majority of queries are mostly about relationships. Who is good for whom and are the signs lined
up for a stellar match.
Well, first
of all you can’t solely judge someone strictly by their zodiac sign since many
factors need to be considered. The
rising sign is the outward appearance and initial impression inherent in
someone.
The Moon
factors in their emotional and instinctive response. Mercury deals with how they communicate and think.
Venus determines how they love and their views on finances and esthetics.
Mars
is of course action, drive, and determination and by the way, in relationships
the aspects between Mars and Venus in each person’s chart is very important.
In a woman’s
chart the Sun represents the father until she marries then the Sun represents
the husband. Mars is always a lover.
In a Man’s
chart the Moon is his mother until he marries then the Moon represents his
wife. Venus is always a lover. So much for Match.com!
Jupiter is where
you find your friendships and Saturn represents your responsibilities and
limitations. Might be a good idea to see
where your partner’s Saturn lands in your chart.
Uranus can
be exciting but if someone’s Uranus happens to fall on your Sun or Moon it may
reveal who will pull away from the relationship first-Ouch!
Neptune is
dreamy but under negative aspects it also represents where you are fooled and
lied to.
Pluto shows where issues of
control come into play and where there is need to make changes.
I did a
little research of my own and came up with some tongue and cheek blanket
observations that give a broad view of only dating by Sun sign information. Keep in mind that we are all astral “mutts”
because we embody the energy of the whole zodiac based on planets, stars, and
house positions.
Scanning the
most popular dating sites there seems to be a large number of Aries, Cancers,
and Aquarians that are found on the dating sites. The ones that don’t display their Sun sign
and say “I’ll tell you later” may very well be a Taurus or a Scorpio since they
don’t like to revel too much too
soon.
Here is what
I observed and a few funny commonalities for each sign:
Aries
Men: Looking for adventurous partner who
likes to take off for exotic places on a moment’s notice. (usually means their
bedroom)
Aries Women:
Enthusiastic woman, good head on her shoulders, looking for a man with a
passion for life. Has children but they don’t live at home. (Encouraged them to
get out; be independent, and give her space. She’ll tolerate your kids and pets
about as long as a “New York” minute.)
Taurus Men:
Fine dining, lazy Sunday afternoons reading the paper together and quiet
evenings with Italian food and a nice bottle of wine. (Translation- stays at
home and channel surf while you wait for the pizza to arrive)
Taurus
Women: Looking for a man to enjoy gardening, dining, and life’s simple
pleasures. I am a woman of few words
until I get to know you better. (Looking for a man to simplify her life and
she’ll show more of an interest if you have a few bucks and good credit.)
Gemini Man:
Divorced, Children sometimes live at home, looking for a fun partner who enjoys
concerts, the beach, and movies. (Usually means that you will help him chauffer
his kids to the concerts, the beach, and the movies.)
Gemini
Woman: Looking for a great
conversationalist who enjoys long walks, impromptu parties, and traveling. (She
will talk your balls off as you walk along the beach to meet up with her
friends who are having a party. Do not expect to sit still with this woman)
Cancer Man:
Looking for my soul mate to share time antiquing, cooking together, and
watching old movies. Drama free woman preferred. (Translation: He considers the
old shit in his place antiques and it is more cost effective to stay in and
watch you cook his dinner while he watches old videos of his kids. His drama is
enough for both of you so don’t expect to share any of your own.)
Cancer
Woman: Looking for a kind, gentile,
sensitive man who isn’t afraid to cry. (All gay men please reply)
Leo Man:
Looking for a woman who is physically, fit and well-toned. I would describe
myself but I would wind up writing a novel. (It just isn’t possible for him to
describe himself in the small space provided on the dating site. He believes that he is a great catch. If you
don’t look like you just fell off of the pages of Vogue don’t even bother to
reply-he like to show his woman off)
Leo Woman: I
am an independent woman, self-starter who is the brains behind my business.
Looking for a man who enjoys wine tasting, fine dining, and Saint Bart’s in the
winter. (Translation-don’t even reply if you are not a top tier professional
with at least a high six figure income.
This woman is no slouch)
Virgo Man:
Never married old school gentleman seeking non-smoking, non-drinking woman with
conservative political views. Pets are OK
but I am allergic to pet dander. (Hello-do you want to date Felix Unger?)
Virgo Woman:
Dedicated, loyal woman who is into yoga, green drinks, and fitness looking for
a mature minded man to share in her life. (If you smoke, drink, and throw you
socks around this woman will drop your ass. Be prepared to show her your cell
phone so she can make sure that you aren’t a cheater.)
Libra Man:
True romantic seek counterpart for candlelight dinners and magical moments
together. I am a man who is “In love with love.” (Check all dating sites
because he is probably communicating with six other women who are melting to
the beautiful messages he writes)
Libra Woman:
My friends tell me that I am a pretty woman with a shining personality. Looking for a man who believes in love and
willing to take a chance with a special lady like me. Long walks on the beach,
picnics at midnight, and shopping for unique things found in out of the way
places. (She might be looking for a “Fan” instead of a “Man.” If you are not someone who throws around
compliments and treats her like she is Gloria Swanson in the famed movie Sunset
Boulevard, then keep scrolling.)
Scorpio Man:
I’ll tell you later
Scorpio
Woman: I’ll tell you later
Scorpios
don’t readily reveal themselves so be prepared to play Dragnet with each other
until someone wins. They take no
prisoners. When they try to achieve something they are very determined and do
not care about protocol.
Sagittarius
Man: Adventurous woman who likes hiking, swimming, boating, football games and
camping willing to join me in my quest to experience everything that life has
to offer. I promise life will not be boring. (You bet it won’t be boring as you
try to keep track of this man who likes a relationship with yards and yards of
free space between you and him. Careful
that he doesn’t leave you behind on a camping trip,)
Sagittarius
Woman: Never married woman looking for a man who likes to travel, socialize,
and experience the deep passion that I am capable of showing him. I want someone who shares my zest for life
and has similar philosophies. I am an animal lover and I want to bring out the
animal in you. (She likes her freedom and by similar philosophies she means
that you better not challenge her on her political views because she will
debate you until you cave in. She
prefers the company of animals because they can’t talk back.)
Capricorn
Man: Seeking a woman who has her life
together so she can share in mine. I don’t mind if you are a professional with
a more intense business life than mine as long as we can find the time to
relax, try new restaurants, and look for the pot of gold at the end of the
rainbow. (This cat is looking for a pedigree woman who has a sound financial
base. You will fit the bill if you have some foo foo social contacts that he
can network into and parlay into deals of his own,)
Capricorn
Woman: I am a workaholic who is looking for a man to entice me away from the
daily grind. I am a bit conservative but
none the less I can be wild and crazy at the appropriate time. If you are a non-smoking, professional man
who has his life in order except for someone to share it with than I am the gal
for you. (If you have bad credit, spend money on cigarettes, and expect me to
foot the bill than move on.)
Aquarius
Man: Thrice divorced man looking for a unique, zany partner to share in my
unconventional life. I enjoy sporting
events, concerts, paint ball challenges, and sneaking into the movies. (If you
are as nuts as he is please reply. Be
ready to live life on the edge,)
Aquarius Woman:
Thrice divorced woman looking for a stable, loving, man who embraces my eccentric
ways and recognizes the artist in me.
Let us paint the picture perfect life together. (Run if you do not like
abstract)
Pisces Man:
I am a dreamer who wants to dream of you each and every night. I will be your knight in shining armor and
you can be my lady. I like concerts, art
museums, soulful conversations, and deciphering our dream together.
(Translation-the guy hates work and lives the bohemian lifestyle beyond the age
of 40.)
Pisces
Woman: Looking for a man who is kind, sympathetic, and loving. Must like pets and surprise visits from family
members. Exotic dining, wine tasting,
and good company spell Nirvana for me. (Her house is like a half-way house for
wayward friends who manage to throw her left overs into some kind of exotic
mess to eat while washing it down with wine during their daily group therapy
sessions.)
Ah the
stars! I guess we all have a day and a
night side. The secret is not to be
daunted merely by Sun sign qualities alone.
A good astrologer can help you harvest the knowledge held within a birth
chart and navigate the dating sites to avoid “match.CON.”
Namaste’
No comments:
Post a Comment